I’ve been here yearly for the past three years and I think it’s safe to say I’ve adapted to the wonderful Kingdom of Spain, but there are some crazy facts and things I’ve noticed that need to be shared:
- Their is at least one night a week when fireworks will go off in a local town for a few hours.
- Each little suburb essentially chooses its own rules. It’s a bank holiday in one town and a normal day in the next. It doesn’t matter where you go, chances are you’re going to get there and all the stores are closed for fiesta.
- They build airports in no fly zones, causing outrage at its uselessness and melt down over it despite the fact that at least one or two airports exist per area. (Sydney would have like thirty airports by now but we’ve been struggling and pondering over a second major airport for years)
- (A point I’ve made several times before but is worth covering again) Australian imported alcohol is 75% cheaper than in Aus and yet still considered ‘premium price’
- If you make an appointment to see the doctor at 8am, you’re best taking the day off as they’ll see you closer to 1pm.
- The postman is trained to learn the location and people only to be replaced a month later by a new guy. The cycle never ends.
- Raising the speed limit in part of Valencia on the motorway from 110km to 130km actually brought the road death toll down.
- If you venture through old houses (ruins) from the early 1900s, the lack of evidence to suggest toilets or showers were installed is quite obvious. Don’t ask…[Josè, my grandfather, tells me that in the 60s he gave a gift of flowers to someone who put them in the toilet bowl, oblivious to the idea that toilets are not actually vases connected to the plumbing]
- Lined paper essentially does not exist: this is something I noticed a few years ago. It’s graphing paper (those maths squares) or nothing. To get lined paper I actually had to visit a British supplies store.
- There’s a popular brand of cigars called “Tampax” so you can literally go out and smoke a Tampax with your friends.
- Workers will whip out their private parts and hilariously piss near the construction sites without considering that it might be better to do so with a bit more privacy.
- Peacocks, for no apparent reason and at any time, will appear in bizarre places such as hanging off the edge of an apartment block.
- Snakes have no regard for traffic and will cross without paying respect to the laws of the road and the rules that us common pedestrians are forced to follow.
- Saying you’re from Australia is like admitting you have traveled from outer-space to visit. Most villagers have yet to leave the village let alone leave the country.
- If you’re as white as I am and you speak Spanish to somebody, they’ll give you a response in English.
And with that aside, I have been approved for a home loan to purchase property and relocate to Alicante later this year.